CHAPTER 1 The Rassendylls -- With a Word on the Elphbergs “ I wonder when in the world you ’re going to do anything , Rudolf ? ” said my brother ’s wife .
“ My dear Rose , ” I answered , laying down my egg-spoon , “ why in the world should I do anything ?
My position is a comfortable one .
I have an income nearly sufficient for my wants ( no one ’s income is ever quite sufficient , you know ) , I enjoy an enviable social position : I am brother to Lord Burlesdon , and brother-in-law to that charming lady , his countess .
Behold , it is enough ! ”
“ You are nine-and-twenty , ” she observed , “ and you ’ve done nothing but -- ” “ Knock about ?
It is true .
Our family does n’t need to do things . ”
This remark of mine rather annoyed Rose , for everybody knows ( and therefore there can be no harm in referring to the fact ) that , pretty and accomplished as she herself is , her family is hardly of the same standing as the Rassendylls .
Besides her attractions , she possessed a large fortune , and my brother Robert was wise enough not to mind about her ancestry .
Ancestry is , in fact , a matter concerning which the next observation of Rose ’s has some truth .
“ Good families are generally worse than any others , ” she said .
Upon this I stroked my hair : I knew quite well what she meant .
“ I ’m so glad Robert ’s is black ! ” she cried .
At this moment Robert ( who rises at seven and works before breakfast ) came in .
He glanced at his wife : her cheek was slightly flushed ; he patted it caressingly .
“ What ’s the matter , my dear ? ” he asked .
“ She objects to my doing nothing and having red hair , ” said I , in an injured tone .
“ Oh !
of course he ca n’t help his hair , ” admitted Rose .
“ It generally crops out once in a generation , ” said my brother .
“ So does the nose .
Rudolf has got them both . ”
“ I wish they did n’t crop out , ” said Rose , still flushed .
“ I rather like them myself , ” said I , and , rising , I bowed to the portrait of Countess Amelia .
My brother ’s wife uttered an exclamation of impatience .
“ I wish you ’d take that picture away , Robert , ” said she .
“ My dear ! ” he cried .
“ Good heavens ! ”
I added .
“ Then it might be forgotten , ” she continued .
“ Hardly -- with Rudolf about , ” said Robert , shaking his head .
“ Why should it be forgotten ? ”
I asked .
“ Rudolf ! ” exclaimed my brother ’s wife , blushing very prettily .
I laughed , and went on with my egg .
At least I had shelved the question of what ( if anything ) I ought to do .
And , by way of closing the discussion -- and also , I must admit , of exasperating my strict little sister-in-law a trifle more -- I observed : “ I rather like being an Elphberg myself . ”
When I read a story , I skip the explanations ; yet the moment I begin to write one , I find that I must have an explanation .
For it is manifest that I must explain why my sister-in-law was vexed with my nose and hair , and why I ventured to call myself an Elphberg .
For eminent as , I must protest , the Rassendylls have been for many generations , yet participation in their blood of course does not , at first sight , justify the boast of a connection with the grander stock of the Elphbergs or a claim to be one of that Royal House .
For what relationship is there between Ruritania and Burlesdon , between the Palace at Strelsau or the Castle of Zenda and Number 305 Park Lane , W. ?
Well then -- and I must premise that I am going , perforce , to rake up the very scandal which my dear Lady Burlesdon wishes forgotten -- in the year 1733 , George II .
sitting then on the throne , peace reigning for the moment , and the King and the Prince of Wales being not yet at loggerheads , there came on a visit to the English Court a certain prince , who was afterwards known to history as Rudolf the Third of Ruritania .
The prince was a tall , handsome young fellow , marked ( maybe marred , it is not for me to say ) by a somewhat unusually long , sharp and straight nose , and a mass of dark-red hair -- in fact , the nose and the hair which have stamped the Elphbergs time out of mind .
He stayed some months in England , where he was most courteously received ; yet , in the end , he left rather under a cloud .
For he fought a duel ( it was considered highly well bred of him to waive all question of his rank ) with a nobleman , well known in the society of the day , not only for his own merits , but as the husband of a very beautiful wife .
In that duel Prince Rudolf received a severe wound , and , recovering therefrom , was adroitly smuggled off by the Ruritanian ambassador , who had found him a pretty handful .
The nobleman was not wounded in the duel ; but the morning being raw and damp on the occasion of the meeting , he contracted a severe chill , and , failing to throw it off , he died some six months after the departure of Prince Rudolf , without having found leisure to adjust his relations with his wife -- who , after another two months , bore an heir to the title and estates of the family of Burlesdon .
This lady was the Countess Amelia , whose picture my sister-in-law wished to remove from the drawing-room in Park Lane ; and her husband was James , fifth Earl of Burlesdon and twenty-second Baron Rassendyll , both in the peerage of England , and a Knight of the Garter .
As for Rudolf , he went back to Ruritania , married a wife , and ascended the throne , whereon his progeny in the direct line have sat from then till this very hour -- with one short interval .
And , finally , if you walk through the picture galleries at Burlesdon , among the fifty portraits or so of the last century and a half , you will find five or six , including that of the sixth earl , distinguished by long , sharp , straight noses and a quantity of dark-red hair ; these five or six have also blue eyes , whereas among the Rassendylls dark eyes are the commoner .
That is the explanation , and I am glad to have finished it : the blemishes on honourable lineage are a delicate subject , and certainly this heredity we hear so much about is the finest scandalmonger in the world ; it laughs at discretion , and writes strange entries between the lines of the “ Peerages ” .
It will be observed that my sister-in-law , with a want of logic that must have been peculiar to herself ( since we are no longer allowed to lay it to the charge of her sex ) , treated my complexion almost as an offence for which I was responsible , hastening to assume from that external sign inward qualities of which I protest my entire innocence ; and this unjust inference she sought to buttress by pointing to the uselessness of the life I had led .
Well , be that as it may , I had picked up a good deal of pleasure and a good deal of knowledge .
I had been to a German school and a German university , and spoke German as readily and perfectly as English ; I was thoroughly at home in French ; I had a smattering of Italian and enough Spanish to swear by .
I was , I believe , a strong , though hardly fine swordsman and a good shot .
I could ride anything that had a back to sit on ; and my head was as cool a one as you could find , for all its flaming cover .
If you say that I ought to have spent my time in useful labour , I am out of Court and have nothing to say , save that my parents had no business to leave me two thousand pounds a year and a roving disposition .
“ The difference between you and Robert , ” said my sister-in-law , who often ( bless her ! )
speaks on a platform , and oftener still as if she were on one , “ is that he recognizes the duties of his position , and you see the opportunities of yours . ”
“ To a man of spirit , my dear Rose , ” I answered , “ opportunities are duties . ”
“ Nonsense ! ” said she , tossing her head ; and after a moment she went on : “ Now , here ’s Sir Jacob Borrodaile offering you exactly what you might be equal to . ”
“ A thousand thanks ! ”
I murmured .
“ He ’s to have an Embassy in six months , and Robert says he is sure that he ’ll take you as an attache .
Do take it , Rudolf -- to please me . ”
Now , when my sister-in-law puts the matter in that way , wrinkling her pretty brows , twisting her little hands , and growing wistful in the eyes , all on account of an idle scamp like myself , for whom she has no natural responsibility , I am visited with compunction .
Moreover , I thought it possible that I could pass the time in the position suggested with some tolerable amusement .
Therefore I said : “ My dear sister , if in six months ’ time no unforeseen obstacle has arisen , and Sir Jacob invites me , hang me if I do n’t go with Sir Jacob ! ”
“ Oh , Rudolf , how good of you !
I am glad ! ”
“ Where ’s he going to ? ”
“ He does n’t know yet ; but it ’s sure to be a good Embassy . ”
“ Madame , ” said I , “ for your sake I ’ll go , if it ’s no more than a beggarly Legation .
When I do a thing , I do n’t do it by halves . ”
My promise , then , was given ; but six months are six months , and seem an eternity , and , inasmuch as they stretched between me and my prospective industry ( I suppose attaches are industrious ; but I know not , for I never became attache to Sir Jacob or anybody else ) , I cast about for some desirable mode of spending them .
And it occurred to me suddenly that I would visit Ruritania .
It may seem strange that I had never visited that country yet ; but my father ( in spite of a sneaking fondness for the Elphbergs , which led him to give me , his second son , the famous Elphberg name of Rudolf ) had always been averse from my going , and , since his death , my brother , prompted by Rose , had accepted the family tradition which taught that a wide berth was to be given to that country .
But the moment Ruritania had come into my head I was eaten up with a curiosity to see it .
After all , red hair and long noses are not confined to the House of Elphberg , and the old story seemed a preposterously insufficient reason for debarring myself from acquaintance with a highly interesting and important kingdom , one which had played no small part in European history , and might do the like again under the sway of a young and vigorous ruler , such as the new King was rumoured to be .
My determination was clinched by reading in _ The Times _ that Rudolf the Fifth was to be crowned at Strelsau in the course of the next three weeks , and that great magnificence was to mark the occasion .
At once I made up my mind to be present , and began my preparations .
But , inasmuch as it has never been my practice to furnish my relatives with an itinerary of my journeys and in this case I anticipated opposition to my wishes , I gave out that I was going for a ramble in the Tyrol -- an old haunt of mine -- and propitiated Rose ’s wrath by declaring that I intended to study the political and social problems of the interesting community which dwells in that neighbourhood .